I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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