it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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