She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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