loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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