UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
babies were throwing up all over the place
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
