she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
