I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
did you just send me my own nude
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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