They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
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Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
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Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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