I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
4 words: hood of his car
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
There's even glitter on my cock...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
