But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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