we have officially lost it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
