Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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