Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Randomize
