is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
