I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
