no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
