You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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