Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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