It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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