I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
