also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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