Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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