if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
