we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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