just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Terrible idea I love it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
