great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
