Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm both gender and math confused
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
