You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
