I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Damn victory sex feels great
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
