I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
