Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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