Even water is tasting like jack daniels
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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