I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
