dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize