Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
