Tell her she can't have a vagina
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
