i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
