just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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