so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
