she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
