I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
