he thought i was a dude.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So much Jack, so little girl.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
