Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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