Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
