TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
