I CAN MOONWALK!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize
