I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize