and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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