i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
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Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
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Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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