I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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