Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
