He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
