Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
