.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
