But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
